Note to Self


Why man. Why ruin a good night by doing that. Sort it out dude or we're going to have to have serious words.
It wouldn't be so bad if it only happened occasionally when you where drunk but you do it all the time. Your big enough and ugly enough to take control of your life, so do it.

It's true what they say you know, You always become what you hate the most. If your not careful it will happen to you. If nothing else it depresses you. So just stop it.

That said have a good gig at Warrington tonight.

Feed Me!


God damn facist sandwhich shops!
Why do they all closed by 2 o'clock?
Is there some sort of cufew on bread after this time?
Will the police suddenly surrond the shop and threaten to storm the place if they don't close by 2?
It's not just sandwhich shops though is it, no that wouldn't be too bad, it's also the ruddy fish and chip shops and Mrs Miggins tea shop! In fact anywhere where I could get food from!

Consequently my lunch today consists of a Marathon Bar and a pack of soggy Cheese and Onion crisps from the vending machine upstairs. Oh I also made the mistake of ordering tomato soup from the vending machine, which seems to just be blobs of oil floating a a duious brown liquid, I'd get rid of it by pouring it into the plant next to me but I don't want to be charged with herbicide.

Ok, Ok, Your A Ambulance
"Quick operator give me the number for 911!" - Homer Simpson

Not much intresting happening in my life so I thought I'd share a phone conversation I had while working on the helpdesk the other week.

Me: Yell-oh. Aye, tea...

Ian, in the back ground Yeah and a coffee for me Dave

Me: ...helpdesk.

Caller: I need an ambulance. Now.

Me: Dude this is the IT helpdesk we don't do ambulances

Caller: I need it now.

Me: Look dude we don't do ambulances. Just Computer problems.

Caller: Don't dick me around you high school drop out shit! Give me a fucking ambulance! You work for the NHS don't you.

Dave comes back in with my cup of tea.
Me: Cheers dude. Yes I do.

Caller: Well you ignorant shit call me a fucking ambulance.

Me: That's a smashing brew Dave. Look man it doesn' work like that we provide technical support, ie computers printers ect to the GP surgorys. We do not nor have we ever or will ever provide ambulances.

Caller: Well smart arse where can I get one from?

Me: Erm, 999?

Caller: ......ok I'll ring that then..