Does It Speak Bocce?


The large wooden crates are lined up outside the building filled with various old I.T. equipment waiting for removal and disposal. I'm having a poke around them with Paul.
"Well he's already been out complaining about what a waste this is" Paul informs me about our coworker. "He's removed all the ink from the deskjets" There is a vast amount of deskjets scattered around that will never be used again for anything by anyone.
"They'll never be used by anybody and they'll dry up and be even more useless then him" I comment.
"yup"
"So you looking for anything in particular here?" I ask.
"Well ideally I'd like a flat screen monitor" Paul replies without much hope. Indeed the only monitors here are well worn and busted CRTs.
"What about yourself?" He asks me as I squeeze between two crates to get to another.
"What I really need is a droid that understands the binary language of moisture vaporators." I mutter this quietly as people are passing and I don't want them to think that I.T. are as geeky as we are. I think I did it too quietly as he doesn't seem to hear this witticism so I turn round to say it louder and feel a sharp jab in my arse.
"Arrrrrrgh! I've got a splinter in my arse!" I scream. People turn and look.

I have just pulled and inch long splinter from my arse.

Sleeping Beauty


I've just walked in from a four hour writing session, the time flew by like it always does when you're enjoying yourself. This does mean however that I've snuck in at half past midnight (and on a school night too!).
The ladies of the house have returned from their broken car exile while I've been out. I woke Cujo by coming in and have said a big belly rubbing hello to her. I've also been up and seen Katie, she's fast asleep on the bed. She looks really peaceful; doesn't sound peaceful what with the snoring.
Sadly I get the feeling I'm going to end up waking her as I try and edge slowly into the bed and roll her over to her side from the sprawl that she's got going across the whole bed. At which point she'll awake to a stinky tired boyfriend which not what I'd want her first see after a few days away from me.
Oh well here we go.