Malapropism

"They have A Cave Troll"

A wise philosopher once said "That's all I can stands, cuz I can't stands n'more!".Obviously at the time he was referring to the socioeconomic implications of the closing of the Spinach mines, but I can't help but feel that he could well of also been commenting on this topic, it's certainly how I feel about it.

The manner in which it starts is always the same although the specifics may change. It'll start with something small, it always does, but like a butterfly flapping its wings or a snowball rolling down a mountain there's trouble coming. Maybe they hear a whisper of it from their kids and misconstrued its meaning and then it's changed to what they think it should mean, twisted to suit their insidious purposes then before you know it, it's out there in the wild and people with no knowledge about it are attempting to use it to be hip and cool. 

It's wrong; dead wrong I tell you!

I am of course talking about what happens when the main stream media get a hold of an Internet term, in this case Trolling.

Well I best dust off my mortar board, get the red pen ready and get my cane hand loosened up; It's time for me to go to work educating you oiks.

So What Is Trolling?

Trolling is the fine art of deliberately and subtly pissing people off on the Internet. It should be played for the lols[1] as in Trollolololol. Remember people, subtle.

Perhaps the most essential part of doing a successful Troll is convincing the person you are Trolling that you genuinely believe what you are saying, no matter how outrageous – indeed the more outrageous the better so long as the recipient of your Trolling believes you to be sincere in your belief.

Trolling could also involve giving someone some obviously false information, such as providing clearly damaging instructions. For example telling someone that the only way to get rid of a virus from their computer is to create a batch file containing:

@echo off

C:

Cd\windows

Del *.* /q

The essence of Trolling is subtlety and deceiving the Troll must be like the creature of ancient times sneakily hiding under bridges. Remember any Trolling that doesn’t involve subtlety and deceiving isn’t Trolling... 

Well What Isn’t Trolling Then?

Trolling isn’t making obvious swearing and making rude remarks. It isn’t telling an Olympic diver that their dead dad is disappointed in them. It isn’t mocking the families over their dead relatives. It isn’t harassing or bullying people[2] It isn’t anything like that or any of the other hundreds of misuses that are popping up in the news and in MP speeches.

There is already a word for people that do things like this and it isn’t a Troll; It’s a Dick[3].

 Just remember Wheaton's law.

 [1] By the way that’s LOL as in Laugh Out Loud not Lots Of Love. That’s important to remember people, don’t reply to someones text message saying that their mum has died with “Oh, so sorry LOL”. Although this could be considered a Troll, if done properly but I’d recommend staying clear of it as not much real world humour is to be had here and you’re more likely to come of a dick rather than a Troll.

[2]As such anyway, it could be construed as that but shouldn’t. It shouldn’t be a sustained and vindictive attack. Remember it’s should be played for lols and if the person being Trolled thinks and takes a breather it should be fairly obvious to them that they were being Trolled

[3]Or to put it in the internet vernacular "Flamer" or a Griefer if your in an online game.