RIP - MCA

I'm still a little shocked that Adam Yauch of The Beastie Boys has died. I knew he was ill with cancer for a while, but man does this make me feel old and sad. Licensed to Ill, Paul's Boutique and Ill Communication were in the CD rotation pile when my brother and I used to play on the computer. I remember it was on one such occasion when we were listening to Girls that our Nanna walked in and started bopping away to the song saying it was a nice happy tune rather then that angry growling that we usually have on. My brother and I exchanged a glance, then the tongue in cheek misogynistic 2nd verse hit and her face dropped before walking out the room. Embarrassing at the time but a good chuckle now.

 It would of been easy to write the Beastie Boys off as talentless, gimmicky fads and I think a lot of people did but behind the cheekiness and joyful exuberance of there early days was a bunch of down to earth guys who cared a lot about their craft and were genuinely talented musicians. They were always experimenting with different styles, Jazz, Funk and of course their Hardcore Punk roots. Their music was great, then of course they drop the lyrics and rap better then most rappers with such a lovely flow.

And if Anybody needs an additional reason to hate Chris Martin then here's Coldplays tribute to MCA. Although it's less of a tribute and more like pissing on his grave.

They're honoring him by playing the one song the Beastie Boys hate? The one that was supposed to be a parody, but became popular among all the people who took it at face value?[1]
In fact don't play that video, just go watch Sabotage instead.

All bands have one of them don't they :)

It's Murder


"Oooo! There's a bird loose!" Says the womens quickly disappearing head as it disappears back out the door.
And this is my problem because?
I continue taking inventory of the equipment in the cages, trying my best to ignore the fluttering of wings coming from the large cabinet down the end. After a while a sigh escapes me.
She's not coming back is she. She's run off not told any body and left me to deal with this problem. Typical.
I Put the pen and paper down^[1]
I don't see why this is my problem. Just because the bird got in here it's now my problem. Typical.
I move towards the cabinet.
Somebody leaves a door open and the bird flies in here, it's my problem. Typical.
Edging up to the side of the cabinet I gingerly put my fingers round the corner
Somebody moves a load of cages of equipment in here from outside and leaves the door open while they do it and a bird flies in here and suddenly its my problem. Typical.
I pull back on the cabinet to open a gap between it and the wall.
There's a loud fluttering and a bang as something hits the side of the cabinet, then a black blur shots out over my head pin wheeling down the corridor and hits the door at the opposite end.

It's a medium sized blackbird that looks distinctly and somewhat expectantly panicked. I always find there is something somewhat jarring and unnerving about a bird in a building. It's a general everyday thing put in a place that is completely out of context for it which makes it seem alien and weird, a bit like a straight guy at a Madonna concert, you know it happens but it just isn't right.

It waddles along by the wall then stops and looks at me fixing me with it's beady little eyes which convey the message
"Hey, I'm descended from a Dinosaur monkey boi. You come near me and I'll do what a Velociraptor would do to you. Well ok a Deinonychus as they were closer to the raptors shown in Jurassic Park, but most people just equate the Velociraptor to what was shown in Jurassic Park; so that is what the public commonly accept a Velociraptor to be. So that's the name I'm going to use despite its paleontological inaccuracy. Yeah; come near me and I'll do what a Velociraptor would do to you. Now is that clear, or would you like me to etch it on your arse with my beak.
Which is quiet a complicated message to convey when you have no noticeable facial expressions.
At that moment I hear a couple of voices coming down the staircase. Excellent some people I can pass the bird herding task off to. The door opens as I turn to greet them and I'm just in time to see heads disappearing back through it and a voice saying
"Fuck that Janet there's a bird in there! Lets just go back to my office and have an affair"^[2]

Bastards!
“Ok bird, your ancestors may of been Dinosaurs but my ancestors where primates and we out evolved you, that's right, I'm going to get Darwin on yo arse, bitch!”
The bird takes a slow waddle towards me and experimentally flaps its wings in my direction.
Come on think man, we're an evolved civilisation, we must have something I can use here. We've invented the arts, literature, science, the combustion engine.....
My eyes search around the corridor
...and health and safety.
I pick up the wet floor sign that has been put out by the toilets and using it as a prodder herd the bird to the door to the outside world.
Finally we make it out the door to the narrow corridor style area between the main building and the generator building. The bird hopes and flutters forward a bit then looks round desperately then back at me.
"CAW"
I freeze the sound didn't come from the bird in front of me, but from above. I know that sound, that's the sound of a Crow. I slowly look up and all around there are Crows perched on the sides of the buildings looking down at me.
"Clever Girl" I mutter as I hear the door swing closed behind me; it automatically closes and can't be opened from the outside. My heart sinks.
"Ooo look at that lovely flock of Crows" someone says from a window above.
"Murder. Not a flock, it's a murder."

A flutter of wings.



[1] low tech is the new high tech.
[2] Ok they didn't say the last bit of that I was just tryign to spruce things up a bit. artistic license and all that.

In The Land Of The Blind


At the end of October I went in to hospital for an eye transplant operation. Because of this I had to spend a month off work. For the first few weeks I wasn't in a fit state to leave the house. This resulted in me slumped down on the couch watching television. However there is only so long one can watch daytime TV before they develope a completely natural and understandable desire to kill all life.
After two hours I'd reached my tolorance thresh hold and turned off the television.
I tired to read my book for a bit but the words were tiny and made my operated eye itch and my head hurt^[1]. So I gave up on that and eventually bought myself some games for the computer from the internet.
As the passage of time marched by leaving me forgotten in it's wake, I turned into a old hermit who did all his shopping and communication with the outside world via the internet. The world had shunned me so I in turn, shunned it.

By day two I would of completely lost it. Thankfully the games I'd ordered arrived. A combination of playing these, watching television, conversing with the dog and bitterly staring out the window at the hated world I managed to maintain my sanity.

Now I'm well on the mend and back at work (boo) so hopefully I'll be able to get up to more wacky and zany adventures in the near future.



[1]Oh yes, har-de har. No reading words doesn't usually make my head hurt.

Gawd damn Spammers!

I recently re-enabled comments on this blog^[1]. I couldn't remember why I had disabled them as I did it a long time ago. Then it hit me. Spam!
Since re-enabling the comments I've been getting loads of it in the comments, this isn't to bad as Blogger seems to be doing a grand job of recognising it and filtering it to my spam comments folder.
Bizzarly it all seems to be to one brief post I did back in 2002 that mearly says:

" Oooo yes please send me lots of spam about lowering my phone calls even though I'm out side America and the offer has no relavance to me.
"^[2]

So maybe their Sarcasm detector is broken.

Still some of the spam is quiet intresting to read. Like this one for a movies website^[3].

"
A story of greed, tough hate, and romance. Three young women - Deena Jones, Effie White, and Lorrell Robinson - desire to become pop stars and get their wish when they're picked to be backup singers for the legendary James "Thunder" Early. Then they're set free for leads, but Curtis Taylor and Effie's brother C.C. decide for Deena to be lead which upsets Effie. Mr Freeze plans on taking Gotham City hostage by freezing the town into a permanent winter. In the meantime, a new seductive villainous, Poison Ivy, has appeared to cause a rift in the partnership of Batman & Robin. While all this is happening, faithful butler Alfred is dying. Mr. Freeze holds the key to save his life. Enter Batgirl to help save the day. Shakespeare's famous play is updated to the hip modern suburb of Verona still retaining its original dialogue. The gun-toting members of the families wage a vicious war on the streets as the star-crossed lovers, their tragic destiny.
"

I can't help but think "Best. Film. Ever." Although I don't remember Shakespear writing about Batman & Robin, but hey if it makes a good movie what do I care. Maybe I should pitch this as a script to Hollywood. Then again they just seem intrested in remakes and sequals these days.


[1] And indeed let search engines find it and such like so that may be part of the problem.
[2]The Post
[3] It would probably scam and/or virus you to buggery if you went there so I've removed all the links in it (there were loads!) and I'm certainly not going there to check it out for myself.