More Tales From The Road
Just got back from the big smoke down south, sorry that should be Larrndarn bruv, darn sarth. We we're playing a gig down there on the Saturday and having a look round the smoke while we we're there. We had to be at the venue at six for a sound check and where travelling down on Saturday morn. Now then the problem with this was I was driving, if you've been reading for a while you will know all about me and my car and I could just leave it there, however I've got room to fill so I'll tell you the whole story. I've picked up my charges for the ride down, Ian, Kelly, Gav and Si and we're just coming up to the flyover pass of Meadowhall, up untill now its been a fairly uneventfull journey but that is all about to change....
I'm just looking for a way of breaking through these walls
I'm just looking for a place i can call my home
Is anybodyclunk clunk clunk a soul
just looking for love clunk
The girl with a heart of clunk clunk clunk
"Bugger me what was that" I say turning off the radio, and having a glance round the car.KeeEEERrrrrGG CHUNKpoof Suddenly a great big cloud of smoke comes out of the back of me car engulfing traffic behind me. Indicating and checking my mirrors I endever to pull accross the lanes, I'm in the outside lane, to get to the hard shoulder unfortunatly there is a complete twatty yuppie in the middle lane in a BMW who isn't letting me pull accross. "Buggerit" thinks I and speeds up over takes him then moves accross covering his car with my smoke, maybe next time he'll let people pull accross! I stop the car on the hard shoulder seconds after I lose powersteering (lucky I have bulging biceps) and glide her in. Getting out of the car and starting towards the bonnet (which is gently releasing smoke from round its edges, I think back through my head about what it could be, Oil? Checked. Water? Checked. Petrol? Checked. Female Topless boxing? Mmmmmmmm. opening the bonnet I discover a fire raging, "well thats new", If I may now take everyone back a few months....
I would just like to take this opertunaty to say I told you so!1. Grabbing my fire extinguisher from the car I unload the full contents on to the fire, I tell you its great fun and makes you feel real manly! waving away the powder from the extinguisher I peer through the smoke, and there is still smoke coming from the engine oil intake thingy2 so I carefully undo that and leave it to steam off. give the car a bootand sit down with everyone behind motorway barrier, and have a bit of a inward cry.
Its about fortyfive minutes later the rear guard of our convoy having caught up with us and after everyone gathering around sucking in breath through teeth and offering several suggestions on what to do have given up and sat down. So we have called back the van-guard3 of Ian's parents who are members of the AA4 and Dave, Ian's dad, is currently on the phone to them pretending he's been driving my car. Right about now we need to get people moving as time is marching on. So it's agreed that Si will squeeze into the rear car, which contains our Drummer Lee and Singer Drew and accompanying ladies and carry on down south to meet up with our equipment (sent down in a van seperate) and reassure the venue that we are actually coming.
Another fortyfive minutes and the guy from the AA turns up and informs us that the engine is completely jiggered and that Dave's policy doesn't cover tows back home and as he's quick on the uptake that it actually only covers cars that Dave was driving and not his sons friends car, but offers to tow us off the motorway to Meadowhall shopping centre car park and rings a local rescue service to take it back from there. Price for tow - £130, which in all fairness is rather good. Ian and kelly head back with his parents to pick up Ians car then they will come back down and pick us up then on to the big smoke. This leaves me and Gav alone in The shopping centre car park with my car.
"It's going to be a good hour or so till the recovery van can come so..." I tail off
"Cup of tea and a sit down?" Suggests Gav
"Perfec'" I reply heading towards the shopping centre
It's about a hour and fortyfive minutes later me and Gav are now completely bored with the random band that is playing in the carpark (nobody else around they just seem to be playing to us, just one song, and not a very good one mind.) and taking the piss out of the Chavs in the shopping centre, which works out nicely as Ian and Kelly arrive back, swiftly followed by Jeffs Recovery Service, Huzzah!
Finally we arrive at the gig at half seven, now if you we're paying attention we were ment to be there at six to soundcheck so we are a little late to say the least but the venue don't seem to perterbed by it and we get to do a quick sound check, then have a few beers. The whole gig runs late we all get rather drunk finally taking stage at four minutes past midnight (so technically we are now in Sunday). Dispite being rather tipsey we're playing a blinder of a gig when Ian's guitar amp decides to give up the ghost half way through a song just as we're getting to a guitar solo part, so its a bit of a extended drum and bass break by Lee and myself while our sound guy rumages round in the back room, returning triumphantly with a woefully inadiquate amp, but needs must and we finish the song with that and do the next two songs with it when suddenly Ian's amp decides to start working again! Get in! Then it's just plain sailing till the end.We got paid in beer as well which I always find a bonus.
1. Although this didn't stop my car being on fire.
2. Sorry can't think of the technical name, see picture
3. Apparantly nothing to do with Guarding vans!
4. There also members of a breakdown rescue service - sorry couldn't help myself
Just got back from the big smoke down south, sorry that should be Larrndarn bruv, darn sarth. We we're playing a gig down there on the Saturday and having a look round the smoke while we we're there. We had to be at the venue at six for a sound check and where travelling down on Saturday morn. Now then the problem with this was I was driving, if you've been reading for a while you will know all about me and my car and I could just leave it there, however I've got room to fill so I'll tell you the whole story. I've picked up my charges for the ride down, Ian, Kelly, Gav and Si and we're just coming up to the flyover pass of Meadowhall, up untill now its been a fairly uneventfull journey but that is all about to change....
I'm just looking for a way of breaking through these walls
I'm just looking for a place i can call my home
Is anybodyclunk clunk clunk a soul
just looking for love clunk
The girl with a heart of clunk clunk clunk
"Bugger me what was that" I say turning off the radio, and having a glance round the car.KeeEEERrrrrGG CHUNKpoof Suddenly a great big cloud of smoke comes out of the back of me car engulfing traffic behind me. Indicating and checking my mirrors I endever to pull accross the lanes, I'm in the outside lane, to get to the hard shoulder unfortunatly there is a complete twatty yuppie in the middle lane in a BMW who isn't letting me pull accross. "Buggerit" thinks I and speeds up over takes him then moves accross covering his car with my smoke, maybe next time he'll let people pull accross! I stop the car on the hard shoulder seconds after I lose powersteering (lucky I have bulging biceps) and glide her in. Getting out of the car and starting towards the bonnet (which is gently releasing smoke from round its edges, I think back through my head about what it could be, Oil? Checked. Water? Checked. Petrol? Checked. Female Topless boxing? Mmmmmmmm. opening the bonnet I discover a fire raging, "well thats new", If I may now take everyone back a few months....
I'm driving along in the car with Ian when he kicks something in the foot well.
"whats this?" He asks
"A fire extinguisher" I reply
"What do you need one of them for?"
"...Extinguishing fires?"
"When are you going to have a fire in the car" He replys laughing
A few weeks later....
I'm driving along in the car with Daryl when he kicks something in the foot well.
"whats this?" He asks
"A fire extinguisher" I reply
"What do you need one of them for?"
"...Extinguishing fires?"
"When are you going to have a fire in the car" He replys laughing
I would just like to take this opertunaty to say I told you so!1. Grabbing my fire extinguisher from the car I unload the full contents on to the fire, I tell you its great fun and makes you feel real manly! waving away the powder from the extinguisher I peer through the smoke, and there is still smoke coming from the engine oil intake thingy2 so I carefully undo that and leave it to steam off. give the car a bootand sit down with everyone behind motorway barrier, and have a bit of a inward cry.
Its about fortyfive minutes later the rear guard of our convoy having caught up with us and after everyone gathering around sucking in breath through teeth and offering several suggestions on what to do have given up and sat down. So we have called back the van-guard3 of Ian's parents who are members of the AA4 and Dave, Ian's dad, is currently on the phone to them pretending he's been driving my car. Right about now we need to get people moving as time is marching on. So it's agreed that Si will squeeze into the rear car, which contains our Drummer Lee and Singer Drew and accompanying ladies and carry on down south to meet up with our equipment (sent down in a van seperate) and reassure the venue that we are actually coming.
Another fortyfive minutes and the guy from the AA turns up and informs us that the engine is completely jiggered and that Dave's policy doesn't cover tows back home and as he's quick on the uptake that it actually only covers cars that Dave was driving and not his sons friends car, but offers to tow us off the motorway to Meadowhall shopping centre car park and rings a local rescue service to take it back from there. Price for tow - £130, which in all fairness is rather good. Ian and kelly head back with his parents to pick up Ians car then they will come back down and pick us up then on to the big smoke. This leaves me and Gav alone in The shopping centre car park with my car.
"It's going to be a good hour or so till the recovery van can come so..." I tail off
"Cup of tea and a sit down?" Suggests Gav
"Perfec'" I reply heading towards the shopping centre
It's about a hour and fortyfive minutes later me and Gav are now completely bored with the random band that is playing in the carpark (nobody else around they just seem to be playing to us, just one song, and not a very good one mind.) and taking the piss out of the Chavs in the shopping centre, which works out nicely as Ian and Kelly arrive back, swiftly followed by Jeffs Recovery Service, Huzzah!
Finally we arrive at the gig at half seven, now if you we're paying attention we were ment to be there at six to soundcheck so we are a little late to say the least but the venue don't seem to perterbed by it and we get to do a quick sound check, then have a few beers. The whole gig runs late we all get rather drunk finally taking stage at four minutes past midnight (so technically we are now in Sunday). Dispite being rather tipsey we're playing a blinder of a gig when Ian's guitar amp decides to give up the ghost half way through a song just as we're getting to a guitar solo part, so its a bit of a extended drum and bass break by Lee and myself while our sound guy rumages round in the back room, returning triumphantly with a woefully inadiquate amp, but needs must and we finish the song with that and do the next two songs with it when suddenly Ian's amp decides to start working again! Get in! Then it's just plain sailing till the end.We got paid in beer as well which I always find a bonus.
1. Although this didn't stop my car being on fire.
2. Sorry can't think of the technical name, see picture
3. Apparantly nothing to do with Guarding vans!
4. There also members of a breakdown rescue service - sorry couldn't help myself
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